Do any of you remember Mr. Moehart, our 8Th grade Michigan teacher? Always a bit insulting, actually you could compare his demeanor with Simon Powell, usually crude. I can't recall anyone who liked his class. He had a way of making all of us who were already geeky, feel even worse.
For example he had a way of knowing whether you read your assignment, or not the night before. Michigan history was never my favorite subject. One afternoon after a late tennis match the night before he called on me, just before I fell asleep.
"Miss Mason, are you awake back there?"
"Yes Mr. Moefart." The whole class busted out laughing.
"What did you call me?"
"Mr. Moehart."
"Yes, I thought that's what you said." As he crinkled his eyebrows and rapped my desk with his map pointer. "Miss Mason, could you tell us the names of dinosaur fosils that were found in the Great Lakes after the ice age?"
I was thinking, who give a rat's hindy. But couldn't resist replying, "Well Sir, obviously the ones who couldn't swim, and the ones that couldn't take the frosty cold waters. Honestly, I really don't know."
He taps his map stick. "You didn't read your assignment did you Miss Mason?"
"No sir."
"People, you're going to have to read your assignment if you're going to pass my class!"
A few weeks went by and we were ever so close to finishing that dreaded class and we'd finally be moving on to High School. Everything in me wanted to have just one more laugh. I took some balloons to school on a warm May day. Several of my girl fiends and I spent our lunch hour filling them up with water. We were in the bathroom, not far from Mr. Moefart's class, on the second floor.
We scurried to the banister, over looking the steps. Ironically, Mr Moefart had finished his lunch, and was prissily moving up the steps on his way to Michigan History Class. What joy filled my soul, as I quickly popped up and drooped a big red one right on the old farts head!
I squealed like a little pig! "OH MY GOSH."
My friends quickly grabbed me, and we scurried back to the bathroom. We all were laughing so hard; some of us wet our pants. I couldn't believe it, that was a 110% drop. But then the fear over came me. Mr. Moehart was screaming, "Which one of you little brats did that?"
I heard some of my guy friends saying, "We don't know."
I was so glad they didn't rat me out, but what was I going to do? I knew I would start laughing as soon as I seen Mr. Moehart. There was no way I could go to class. So I asked some of my friends to lock me in a stand up hall locker just outside Mr. Moehart's class.
I stepped in, and they shut the door. One of my girlfriends said, "We can't do this she'll suffocate." Steve Riesbig stuck a lunch room straw in through one of the vents. "Kathy, breathe through this if you run out of air."
I laughed and said, "Okay, just don't tell."
As far as I know Mr. Moefart never knew who drooped that water balloon on his head. :)
Sometimes it's necessary to just blend in!
